As I write this I am imaging some cilia! For those of you unaware, cilia are subcellular organells that are quickly emerging as one of, if not the most important signaling centers of the cell. This is pretty awesome, I feel sure you’ll agree!

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However, just yesterday the biotech giant Promega came to the University! They put on one hell of a show! Here is a small sample of the available diversions:

• Domino’s Pizza: Not as good as the American Dream pizza we used to get at the old university.
• Ice Cream mini-bar/Demo freezer!*
• Pens/Notepads!
• Wheel of fortune-esque game with prizes!
• Adorable stress-squeeze animals**

A good time was had by all. The only slight annoyance was the reps trying to sell us things, but I guess that was the point.

*The sales rep was explaining this fridge to us, talking about the key-card entry and the RF-ID-based billing technology. My friend did not really understand how it worked, and so I compared it to a hotel mini-bar. I think the sales rep was a little offended by the comparison, judging from the look on her face. I thought it was apt.

**I realize that polar bears and penguins occupy different poles on the planet. I would guess that Promega does as well. But they are both arctic themed.

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Well Meg, it is obvious, that the plural of Anathema cannot be precisely known due to the limiting nature of the resolution achievable (that is, lambda over two). However, by application of the MADD solution to the phase problem, it is possible to speculate that the correct answer is the vector product of the circle-plot displacements. My estimated R/R-free ratio is on the order of 0.3, which I think you’ll agree is pretty convincing considering my initial resolution of 3.5 angstroms.

Alternatively, we could interrogate the problem by application of the CHP paradigm. While the free energy of the carbon bonds remains relatively unchanged by the pluralization, we must now account for the loss of hydrophobicity due to the addition of a highly polar S or E group. By examining the new free-energy we are able to speculate that anathemae does indeed correlate well with our derived value, within the bounds of theoretical experimental error.

Points if you know the field under discussion. Points if you can identify at least three factual and/or nomenclature errors in the two paragraphs.

Here is Meg’s reply in awesome quiz form:

Please take the following quiz I’ve spent years developing:

1. This short lecture on the biophysics of anathamae took you ___ minutes to write:
a. 5
b. 20
c. 60
d. 525,600

2. You did not have to reference a small, dumb, purple book to write the phrase “application of the MADD solution to the phase problem.”
a. true
b. false

!!!!!!ANSWERS!!!!
If you answered mostly A’s, you have earned your honorary PhD! C.grats.
If you answered other things, good. I feel less intimidated now. But I think I would like to be able to stick words into a calorimeter.

All A’s, by the way.

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So, er, I’m back to failing again! Crap!

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Take cloning: it’s the scientific equivalent of taking out the trash–it’s mildly irritating, uncomplicated, at least until the neighbor’s dog bites your leg, and has a tendency to pile up if left unattended. I fail at this, and not even in an epic fashion. Friends, my failures are hum-drum tiny errors. The only thing worse than failing is failing small!

In any case, today I got my sequencing results back and discovered, much to my surprise, that I did not fail. I successfully cloned! This has made my week! I now have hope for further lack-of-failing!

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Ah, to be enfolded in the warm embrace of youthful optimism. Turning away from this world of grey-shadows and venturing to a heroic plane, I embrace the small part of me that values clear conscience and hope over snide verbal superiority, and a cold cynicism warmed only by flashes of white-hot sarcasm.

Yes these novels I speak of are trashy and escapist, and soon I will return to the literary slopes of the DeLillos and the Camus, the informative and well researched recesses of the Diamonds and the Pollans.

But for now, dear friends, I abide in other realms.

(And–take heart!–at least I’m not reading Tom Clancy)

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